1 00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:57,860 To be perfectly honest with you, Miss Audrey, I never took astrology serious 2 00:00:57,860 --> 00:01:01,540 until my friend Rallo told me how much you helped him. And I thought maybe you 3 00:01:01,540 --> 00:01:04,920 could do the same thing for me. You see, I'm in a rut. A deep rut. 4 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,860 Well, what do you do, Lamont? 5 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,660 Uh, I'm in commodities. 6 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:11,140 Oh. 7 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:15,420 My brother -in -law is in the junk business, too. 8 00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:19,940 What do you want to do, Lamont? 9 00:01:20,350 --> 00:01:23,870 Well, I was hoping I'd know more about that once I find out what my true 10 00:01:23,870 --> 00:01:24,870 personality is. 11 00:01:25,090 --> 00:01:28,250 How do we go about finding that out? Well, I need some specific information. 12 00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:32,050 Do you have a birth certificate I can look at? No, I don't have a birth 13 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,810 certificate, but I've got all the information written down here on this 14 00:01:34,810 --> 00:01:37,430 paper. See, I copied it out of the family Bible. 15 00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:39,990 Let's see. 16 00:01:40,510 --> 00:01:42,910 You were born September 27, 1940. 17 00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:44,830 Right. That makes you a Libran. 18 00:01:45,390 --> 00:01:47,830 And your time of birth is 5 .50 a .m. 19 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:51,880 That means your rising sign is also Libra, making you a double Libran. 20 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,120 This means that you should strive for harmony and equilibrium. 21 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,820 Peace is the key word for you. 22 00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:02,420 Peace and harmony, or peace of mind, or what? All of that. 23 00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:06,820 I mean, you shouldn't even argue with anyone if you can help it. Not at all. 24 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,139 You don't have to haggle a lot on your job, do you? 25 00:02:10,340 --> 00:02:12,880 No, my problem is more at home with my father. 26 00:02:15,180 --> 00:02:18,720 I got the kind of father that would worry the smile off the face of Mona 27 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:25,160 Well, you're going to have to find a way to be more agreeable with your father. 28 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,860 Yeah, I wish I knew how. My father, he's always arguing with everybody, and he's 29 00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:31,600 stubborn and contrary, and he's always calling me a dummy. 30 00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:37,420 Up until the time that I was six years old, I thought my name was Dummy 31 00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:44,180 You see, Miss Audrey, my father's getting old, and the older he gets, the 32 00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:45,180 crankier he gets. 33 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,520 Well, you've got a serious problem. 34 00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:49,440 A serious problem. 35 00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:51,220 You're a double Libra. 36 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,980 Libra is the scale, balance, harmony, equilibrium. 37 00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,240 If you're constantly arguing, you can't help but be in a rut. 38 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,800 You're living in direct contradiction to yourself. 39 00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:05,380 I am, huh? 40 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:09,830 Yes. You're never going to get your life together until you start establishing 41 00:03:09,830 --> 00:03:13,230 peace and harmony, especially in your home. 42 00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:14,730 With my father? 43 00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:16,350 With your father. 44 00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:18,350 Lord, give me strength. 45 00:03:22,530 --> 00:03:24,430 It's a real thing this time, isn't it, Doc? 46 00:03:26,010 --> 00:03:27,270 That's why I called the hospital. 47 00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:30,250 Well, I got here as fast as I could. 48 00:03:30,890 --> 00:03:33,990 You know, you look kind of young to be a doctor. You sure you're a doctor? 49 00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:37,410 No, I'm in residence, sir, but I will be a doctor in six months. 50 00:03:37,730 --> 00:03:39,010 Well, I can't wait that long. 51 00:03:43,210 --> 00:03:46,650 You might as well go and finish examining me since you're in my 52 00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:50,430 Where do you feel the pain? 53 00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,210 All up and down, doc. 54 00:03:52,470 --> 00:03:57,330 I feel like an elephant standing on top of me with them spiked golf shoes and a 55 00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:58,330 tee off. 56 00:04:00,790 --> 00:04:02,070 It's my heart, ain't it, doc? 57 00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:06,090 Mr. Sanford, relax. Your heart seems to be perfectly normal. 58 00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:11,370 In fact, I'd say that what you have is probably no more serious than the run 59 00:04:11,370 --> 00:04:13,150 -the -mill garden variety gastritis. 60 00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:15,830 It's probably just something you ate. 61 00:04:16,529 --> 00:04:17,850 What did you have for lunch? 62 00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,390 I didn't have no lunch, Doug. I was too sick to eat. 63 00:04:21,290 --> 00:04:22,290 Did you have breakfast? 64 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:23,750 Uh -huh. What did you have? 65 00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:30,750 I had waffles and ham hocks and candied sweet potatoes and peach 66 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:31,750 cobbler. 67 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:33,960 And collard greens. 68 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:40,560 Well, that's a very unusual breakfast, Mr. Sanderson. 69 00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:43,580 A man your age should start off the day with something lighter. 70 00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:44,980 Well, I do. 71 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:48,240 But see, it was the last of the eight -day -old collard greens. 72 00:04:48,860 --> 00:04:51,460 And I had to get rid of them because they were smelling up the house. 73 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,100 Eight -day -old greens? 74 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,040 Collards. 75 00:04:59,980 --> 00:05:03,780 What you're suffering is severe gas pains and a bad case of indigestion. 76 00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:06,560 You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Doc? 77 00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:11,360 I mean, you know, like some doctors won't tell a patient how bad off they 78 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,660 And then it's because they don't want to scare them. And the next thing you 79 00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:16,800 know, you go to sleep and wake up dead. 80 00:05:19,060 --> 00:05:23,600 All you have is a very bad stomachache. Now, it should clear up by tomorrow, and 81 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,940 you'll be your old self again. 82 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:26,259 Thanks, Doc. 83 00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:27,580 Look, just come here a minute, Doc. 84 00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:30,670 Would you like a glass of Ripple before you go? 85 00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:34,530 Ripple? What's that? 86 00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:37,250 What's that? Oh, you got to ask a question. 87 00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:39,030 You couldn't be one of us. 88 00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:44,010 I just thought maybe, you know, you might be trying to pass. 89 00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:54,490 Hey, what's that ambulance over there? Is there something wrong with my father? 90 00:05:54,590 --> 00:05:55,590 Oh, nothing serious. 91 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:56,790 I'm Dr. Stewart. 92 00:05:57,050 --> 00:06:00,890 You're Mr. Sanford's son? Yeah, yeah. He just has a very bad case of gas and 93 00:06:00,890 --> 00:06:02,170 acute indigestion. Oh. 94 00:06:02,410 --> 00:06:08,110 Seems he ate some eight -day -old collard greens for breakfast, and they 95 00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:08,909 agree with him. 96 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:11,490 Eight -day -old collard greens wouldn't agree with Superman. 97 00:06:12,970 --> 00:06:16,130 I told him to get rid of them things. They had the whole house smelling like a 98 00:06:16,130 --> 00:06:17,130 potlicker factory. 99 00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:18,930 And he ate them. That was stupid. 100 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:23,010 Well, look, in any case, he's really not in any mood to be chastised, so it 101 00:06:23,010 --> 00:06:26,240 might be a good idea to sort of just go easy on him. Oh, don't worry. Look, 102 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,440 there'll be no chastisement. You got me at the right time. From here on in, 103 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,620 there's going to be nothing but self -discipline in that house. 104 00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:33,040 Self -discipline and control. 105 00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:34,700 And I've got the discipline to do it. 106 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,520 Oh, that's nice. Are you a Zen Buddhist? 107 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:38,960 Uh, no. I'm a double Libran Baptist. 108 00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:47,960 Well, anyway, he should just stay off his feet for the next day or two, at 109 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,760 till the stomach problem clears up. 110 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,100 All he probably needs is just one big belch. 111 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:54,920 Well, is there anything I should do for him? 112 00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:56,510 Just stand back. 113 00:06:57,390 --> 00:06:58,390 Good night. 114 00:07:08,230 --> 00:07:09,690 Hey, Pop, how you feeling? 115 00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:14,210 A little thick, huh? I know. I saw the doctor on the way in and he told me. 116 00:07:14,430 --> 00:07:16,690 He did? What did he tell you? His bad end? 117 00:07:17,010 --> 00:07:18,430 I don't know. Why do you say that? 118 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,320 Why are you smiling at me like Bela Lugosi or something? 119 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,260 Well, can't I smile at my own father? 120 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,300 Well, why are you starting to dance? 121 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:35,960 It's serious, ain't it? 122 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,720 Look, Papa, if there was anything seriously wrong with you, now you'd know 123 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,439 tell you. 124 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:41,440 Sure you would. 125 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:42,780 Just see me suffer. 126 00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:47,620 I don't want to see you suffer. You're my father and I love you. No, you don't. 127 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,580 Yes, I do. No, you don't. If you did, you'd have sympathy pains. 128 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,950 You mean to tell me you want me to be sick just because you're sick? 129 00:07:56,170 --> 00:07:58,490 Yeah. I don't want to suffer all by myself. 130 00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:02,030 A family that's sick together, sticks together. 131 00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:06,490 You know, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. You 132 00:08:06,490 --> 00:08:09,230 you ought to be ashamed of yourself, Pop. And I'm not going to stand up here 133 00:08:09,230 --> 00:08:09,830 and... 134 00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:16,890 There 135 00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:17,669 you go again. 136 00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:18,670 Look like a dragon. 137 00:08:20,550 --> 00:08:22,910 I'm going to go upstairs and put some fresh linen on your bed, Pop. 138 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,720 For what? I just changed it a week ago. 139 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:30,040 You'll rest better with fresh linen. And as long as I'm going up there, I'll 140 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,240 take the TV set. Might as well be entertained while you recuperate. 141 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:37,340 Yeah, be entertained while I spend my last days on Earth. 142 00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:40,159 If I die, I hope it's in the middle of a commercial. 143 00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:43,320 You're talking ridiculous, Pop. 144 00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:47,240 Who is it? 145 00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:49,340 It's me, Frank Grady. 146 00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:50,960 Let yourself in. 147 00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:00,840 I just thought I'd stop by since I was passing this way to check you out. Good 148 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,780 googly. What's wrong? 149 00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:07,720 What's wrong with you? You look like you have dead. 150 00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:09,920 I'm a little sick, Granny. 151 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,020 That's why I had a doctor come here a little while ago. 152 00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:14,560 What did he say was wrong with you? 153 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,260 He said too much to me. 154 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:20,920 But he talked to Lamont out in the yard, and I'm sure he told Lamont the truth. 155 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,900 That's why he came in here acting weird. 156 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:26,380 And he tried to be nice to me. 157 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:32,000 I think it's the big one this time, Brady. I think the big one is sneaking 158 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,000 me. 159 00:09:33,460 --> 00:09:37,300 Well, I hope not, Fred. You're one of the few live friends I got left. 160 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,860 Wardell Jackson died last week. 161 00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:43,379 Oh, no. 162 00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:44,620 What was wrong with him? 163 00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:47,820 I don't know. He just dropped dead at the bar. 164 00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:52,080 Hadn't been drinking but an hour. 165 00:09:55,270 --> 00:09:56,850 64, younger than you. 166 00:09:57,550 --> 00:09:59,890 Yeah, I guess I'm living on bar time. 167 00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:01,910 And Lamont knows it, too. 168 00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:05,530 You can tell when your kids start treating you nice like that. 169 00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:07,110 Know where he's at now? 170 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,190 Out buying a black suit? 171 00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:14,990 No, Grady. He's upstairs making up the bed so I can go up there and get some 172 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:19,250 rest. And Grady, I know if I go up to them stairs, I ain't coming back down no 173 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:22,730 more. Oh, they'll have to bring you down for the funeral, Fred. 174 00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:32,570 What are you doing talking to me like that when I'm friendly? 175 00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:36,550 I'm sorry, Fred. I wasn't thinking. 176 00:10:37,650 --> 00:10:39,850 Say, where did you say the pain was? 177 00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:41,250 All around in here. 178 00:10:42,210 --> 00:10:45,330 You don't have a bad stiffness in your back, do you? 179 00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:47,770 Yeah, right between my shoulder blades. 180 00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:49,630 Why, Grady? What does that mean? 181 00:10:50,210 --> 00:10:53,530 You got the same symptoms my cousin Charles had. 182 00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:57,050 What did he take for it? His last breath. 183 00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:06,020 laying out in the bed just like that. 184 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,260 Couldn't even get his socks off. 185 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,020 This is it, Brady. 186 00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:18,620 I'm going to walk this last mile, Brady. 187 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:23,880 It's the only mother time I was rehearsing for this time because this is 188 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:24,859 one. 189 00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,680 Next stop, heaven. 190 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,600 At least I hope it's heaven. 191 00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:31,940 Because if it ain't, 192 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:34,940 Walking down that other thing. 193 00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,030 It's so -so, son. 194 00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:22,450 It's so -so, and that radio ain't helping nothing. 195 00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:25,510 What's the matter? Doesn't it work? 196 00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:26,770 Yeah, it works too good. 197 00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:30,630 Hey, see if you can figure this out for me. 198 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:33,850 98 .6. 199 00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:35,490 Is that good or bad? 200 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:39,830 That's normal. 98 .6 is the ideal temperature for your body to be. 201 00:12:40,230 --> 00:12:41,230 For what? 202 00:12:42,910 --> 00:12:43,910 For living. 203 00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:46,830 Oh, that's my mountain, 98 .6. 204 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:49,080 What about the rest of them? 205 00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:52,440 Look, Pop, I didn't come in here to argue with you or get you upset. I 206 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,600 know if you were comfortable, and I wanted to find out what you want for 207 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:55,600 breakfast. 208 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,200 Oh, I don't think I'm taking a chance on putting anything on my stomach yet. 209 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,760 Hey, wait a minute. What's that? Don't tell me that's a Bible. 210 00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:05,020 What do you think it is? What's wrong with that? 211 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,220 Nothing. It's just that I ain't never seen you that close to one before. 212 00:13:09,980 --> 00:13:12,440 I ain't never felt this close to the one that wrote it before. 213 00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:18,080 Say, Papa, I know some pictures from you as a lot younger. 214 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:22,780 Yeah, you know, I just got the urge to look at them. A lot of pictures in here 215 00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:23,780 of me mother. 216 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,340 You know some of these pictures in here over 30 years old? 217 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:28,880 I sure miss your mama, son. 218 00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:31,200 Yeah, reminiscing can be nice. 219 00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:35,060 It's sort of like watching your life flash before your very own eyes, isn't 220 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,160 Why'd you say that? 221 00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:41,580 What? 222 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:46,640 Like watching my life flash before my very eyes. I didn't mean nothing by it. 223 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,140 was just making conversation, Pop. I didn't mean nothing by it. Well, if you 224 00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:52,400 didn't mean nothing by it, then why'd you say it, dummy? 225 00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:54,600 Be my lucky spinner. 226 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,120 My last days on earth with a dumb dummy. 227 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,120 Listen, dummy. 228 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:02,460 Didn't you hear me call you a dummy? 229 00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:06,960 You team dumb know how to get mad when I call you a dummy. 230 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,160 Dummy. 231 00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:10,560 I'm going to see where that is, Pop. 232 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,700 Don't leave me, though, son. I'll be right back. I'm just going to see where 233 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:14,700 is. Don't leave me. 234 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,400 Just a second. 235 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:18,900 Just a second. 236 00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:23,200 Oh, hello, Ernest. Come on in. Hello, Lamont. 237 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,160 I'm sorry to hear about your father. 238 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:40,820 I ran into Grady Wilson, and he said that Fred had one foot in the grave and 239 00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:42,140 other foot on a banana peel. 240 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:48,240 Aunt Esther, the doctor was here and he checked Pop out. He'll be fine in a few 241 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:52,860 days. Then exactly what is wrong with him? Well, he ate some eight -day -old 242 00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:54,540 collard greens and they didn't agree with him. 243 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,420 Eight -day -old collard greens wouldn't agree with Superman. 244 00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:00,480 Where is he? In the bathroom? 245 00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:08,700 Uh, no, Aunt Esther, he's upstairs in the bedroom. You see, the doctor thought 246 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:12,200 it would be a good idea if he stayed off his feet until he recuperates. Hey, why 247 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,400 don't you come on up and visit with Pop? 248 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:14,780 I might as well. 249 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:18,460 Maybe I'll pray for him. Lord knows he needs me. 250 00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:21,580 Lord, that heathen Fred Sampson, I just don't know. 251 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,780 Lord, save him. I'm saved, son. 252 00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:25,020 Hey, Pop, guess what? 253 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,140 The buzzards are circling over the house. 254 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,000 Nope. They got company. 255 00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:32,340 Oh, no. 256 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,040 The head buzzard is in the house. 257 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,320 Say, Pop, why don't you be nice? 258 00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:44,740 in the mind. 259 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:47,940 He's gonna have to pay for all his evilness and nastiness. 260 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,200 Vengeance is mine. 261 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,360 There's the Lord. 262 00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:52,780 What you reading, Fred? 263 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,760 I ain't reading nothing. I'm looking at pictures. 264 00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:58,920 Is it one of them naked heat in this women magazine? 265 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,280 No, honest. It's a photo album. Pop's got some pictures in there that would 266 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,980 him before I was born. Hey, he's got some pictures of Mama in there, too. 267 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:08,060 Oh, are there any of me in there? 268 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,280 I got a few in here with the back of your head thing, doesn't it? 269 00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:26,200 try to get righteous when they think the Lord is about to tap them on the 270 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,200 shoulder. 271 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:32,380 Listen, if I wasn't so sick, I would give you one of these and cross your 272 00:16:32,380 --> 00:16:33,380 lips. 273 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,220 Who you calling ugly, sucker? 274 00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:46,180 I'm calling you ugly. I could stick your face in some dough and make some 275 00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:47,180 gorilla cookies. 276 00:16:57,819 --> 00:17:02,080 I ain't did nothing. She started. All right, then call a truce. I thought you 277 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,640 said you wanted to look at those pictures, Don Esther. 278 00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:04,900 I do. 279 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,920 Oh, there's Elizabeth. 280 00:17:11,619 --> 00:17:14,180 She was the prettiest child my mother had. 281 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,020 She was the only pretty child your mother had. 282 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,300 Hey, Lamar, come here, son. 283 00:17:20,619 --> 00:17:23,060 See, this picture was taken the day you were born. 284 00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:26,680 We celebrated all that week and the week after and the week before. 285 00:17:27,099 --> 00:17:28,700 Look at us, all laid out there drunk. 286 00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:33,320 You were the only one who was drunk, Fred Samson. 287 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:38,660 You were so drunk they had to give you oxygen that evening to wake you up to 288 00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:40,160 you know Lamont had been born. 289 00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:42,960 You mean you didn't know I was born until that evening? 290 00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:44,480 He couldn't have known. 291 00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:46,100 You wasn't born until the evening. 292 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,800 No, I wasn't. 293 00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:51,440 Lamont, your memory is faulty. 294 00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:54,160 And besides, I should know I was there. 295 00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:56,540 Yeah, but wait a minute. Now, why do you say I was born in the evening? 296 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,290 Because you were. It was almost six o 'clock. 297 00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:01,150 Let me see this article a minute. 298 00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:09,970 There. September 27th, 1945, 50 a .m. Now, that's the morning on Esther. Let 299 00:18:09,970 --> 00:18:10,970 see that. 300 00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:13,610 That's Fred's old scribbling. 301 00:18:15,290 --> 00:18:20,070 Fred, you were so drunk you even wrote down the wrong time when Lamont was 302 00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:24,750 Well, I got the right year and the right date, and two out of three ain't bad. 303 00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:28,670 No, for a drunk. That's pretty good. 304 00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:30,810 Then that means I wasn't born it. 305 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,230 Wait a minute. I'll see you later, Pop. I got to go see a lady about something 306 00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:35,330 really important. Wait a minute, son. 307 00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:36,950 Don't leave me, son. 308 00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:39,030 That's the way they do old Eskimos. 309 00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:44,530 They put them out on a big block of ice and let them float out into the sea 310 00:18:44,530 --> 00:18:45,650 until they freeze to death. 311 00:18:46,810 --> 00:18:48,450 You're going to wish you had a block. 312 00:19:00,799 --> 00:19:01,860 What's the matter? 313 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,680 Look, I know I don't have an appointment, but this is an emergency. 314 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:09,220 I found out that I was born at 5 .50 p .m. and not a .m. Does that make a 315 00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:12,480 difference? Oh, no. I was afraid of that. It's a wonder you haven't 316 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:13,480 high blood pressure. 317 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:18,380 Lamont, that means your rising sign is Aries. It is? Aries rising. 318 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,580 Lamont, you're a born warrior. I am? A general. 319 00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:24,300 Yeah. A commander. I like that. 320 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:28,660 You should decide on a course of action and then do it. I will. Be assertive. 321 00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:32,340 Don't let any... anyone sway you or talk you out of your ideas. 322 00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:35,480 Hey, you know, I feel better already just thinking about it, Miss Audrey. 323 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,780 That's not part of the service. 324 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:39,780 Lamont, speaking of service. 325 00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:41,060 Fill me, Mama. 326 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:46,440 Jive, turkey. 327 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,160 and finished off that potato salad. 328 00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:55,840 Leftovers again, huh? That's it. Get out of that bed. 329 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,120 Huh? The gold -brickin' days is over, Pop. Now get out of that bed. 330 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,060 You wouldn't talk like that to a dying man, would you? No, I wouldn't. No, you 331 00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:05,560 wouldn't talk like that to a dying man. And you're not dying. I'm not gonna 332 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,460 argue about it no more. Now you got five minutes to get out of that bed and get 333 00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:11,420 down in that kitchen and fix supper. And two of them is already gone. Now get 334 00:22:11,420 --> 00:22:12,520 out of that bed. I'm getting out, son. 335 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,860 This is the Lord's day, Fred Sanchez. 336 00:23:06,420 --> 00:23:07,740 No, it ain't. This is Sunday. 337 00:23:09,460 --> 00:23:12,600 This is the day I watch NFL action on TV. 338 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,100 And let me tell you something. If you don't get out in front of my TV, there's 339 00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:17,420 going to be some action in this front room. 340 00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:23,660 You said if the Lord healed you, you'd walk the straight and narrow path. 341 00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:26,520 And it's time to take your first step. 342 00:23:27,060 --> 00:23:30,180 That's because it's Sunday. I'm not going to tell you where I'm going to put 343 00:23:30,180 --> 00:23:31,180 first step. 344 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:34,480 I'll show you. 345 00:24:23,210 --> 00:24:26,470 Ban for the Sun is recorded on tape for a live studio audience.